A quarantine essay by Blake Blackmon
There is an in-between feeling I'm unable to shake. One foot still in March, one reaching forward and past….something. The election? The disunity? The death? Whether this is hope or desire I’m not sure and I don’t think, at least cognizantly, I’ve ever conflated one for the other. They both hold different connotations and yet meet at the wanting.
By hoping I am wanting something better. By desiring I am wishing for it.
Once again I find myself wedged in the middle of two feelings. I noticed today a medium sized tree in front of the office. The bottom half of its leaves were evergreen with emerald, the top a bruised burgundy. The line between the two colors was stark, not ombre like you might expect, much like the particular line in time we find ourselves, feet straddling rather than firmly planted.
There is a sense of before. The reality is time has always worked this way. Days have always passed and seasons have always bloomed big blue hydrangeas and frosted our window panes overnight. It takes missing, an aching really, to implant in us this sense of before. Before the breakup. Before the loss of a loved one. So many many of us are aching right now. We’ve been split open and are attempting to nurse our own wounds while we watch others hurting and mourning their own befores. I miss small talk. The meaningless conversations I used to avoid. I miss running into friends at art galleries or the theater and talking over a glass of wine about the performance or paintings. I miss collective experience that wasn’t painful. I miss when mouths and hands weren’t weapons.
I know the after will come. Perhaps we won’t even notice it happening, the trees slipping into springtime. The first handshake that doesn’t shake you.
There has always been a we. Now more than ever we feel it. When one part of the we hurts we all do; the country a body bruised and bleeding internally. It is easy to choose ignorance, to push through the pain and act like it’s not there, but this leads to deepened injury. We can only do so much. We can do what helps or what hurts. Beyond politics. Beyond opinion. We are human. We. We. We. We cannot separate ourselves from the shared anxieties, heartbreaks, joy, tears and fears. It’s all so fragile. A leaf crunching under footsteps.
This week has been cold. November came with goosebumps. Perhaps there is comfort to be taken here: a season doing what it is supposed to do. When it gets even colder we can breathe a sigh of relief at the passage of time. Soon trees now golden, some dual toned, will stand bare before us. Even now in the in-between we can put our confidence in such things. ◾️
代发外链 提权重点击找我;
谷歌蜘蛛池 谷歌蜘蛛池;
Fortune Tiger…
Fortune Tiger…
谷歌权重提升/ 谷歌权重提升;
谷歌seo 谷歌seo;
谷歌霸屏 谷歌霸屏
蜘蛛池 蜘蛛池
谷歌快排 谷歌快排
Google外链 Google外链
谷歌留痕 谷歌留痕
Gái Gọi…
Gái Gọi…
Dịch Vụ…
谷歌霸屏 谷歌霸屏
负面删除 负面删除
币圈推广 币圈推广
Google权重提升 Google权重提升
Google外链 Google外链
google留痕 google留痕
代发外链 提权重点击找我;
谷歌蜘蛛池 谷歌蜘蛛池;
Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;
Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune…
谷歌权重提升/ 谷歌权重提升;
谷歌seo 谷歌seo;
מכונות ETPU מכונות ETPU;
Машини ETPU Машини ETPU
ETPU-Maschinen ETPU-Maschinen
EPS-машины EPS-машины
ЭПП-машины ЭПП-машины� بي يو
ETPU maşınları ETPU maşınları
ETPUマシン ETPUマシン
ETPU 기계 ETPU 기계
代发外链 提权重点击找我;
google留痕 google留痕;
Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;
Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;
Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune…
站群/ 站群;
万事达U卡办理 万事达U卡办理;
VISA银联U卡办理 VISA银联U卡办理;
U卡办理 U卡办理;
万事达U卡办理 万事达U卡办理;
VISA银联U卡办理 VISA银联U卡办理;
U卡办理 U卡办理;
온라인 슬롯 온라인 슬롯;
온라인카지노 온라인카지노;
바카라사이트 바카라사이트;
EPS Machine EPS Machine;
EPS Machine EPS Machine;
EPS Machine EPS Machine;
EPS Machine EPS Machine;
代发外链 提权重点击找我;
游戏推广 游戏推广;
Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;
Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune…
谷歌马甲包/ 谷歌马甲包;
谷歌霸屏 谷歌霸屏;
מכונות ETPU מכונות ETPU;
;ماكينات اي تي بي…
آلات إي بي بي…
ETPU maşınları ETPU maşınları;
ETPUマシン ETPUマシン;
ETPU 기계 ETPU 기계;
google seo…
03topgame 03topgame;
gamesimes gamesimes;
Fortune Tiger…
Fortune Tiger…
Fortune Tiger…
EPS Machine…
EPS Machine…
seo seo;
betwin betwin;
777 777;
slots slots;
Fortune Tiger…
seo优化 SEO优化;
bet bet;